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  • Kristen Hayes

5 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

Updated: Oct 25, 2018

Are you getting the love you deserve? No, no, I'm not talking about love you get from someone else... I'm looking at YOU here. Yep, you. It can be easy to look outside of ourselves for love and nurturing. But, have you ever considered loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved? And, in case you've got any doubt, you DO deserve love! Honest, I mean it. You are magnificent and unique! You're special beyond measure. No one else on this planet will ever be exactly like you. You're better than one in a million, you're once in a lifetime. Ponder that for a minute. You're truly awe inspiring! If you're not exactly feeling overly exuberant about your own splendor, don't worry. Developing healthy self love is a learned skill. Like any other skill, it gets better with practice. Self love, with consistent practice, can become second nature. Being your own advocate and best-friend is really the most wonderful gift you can give yourself. So, go ahead, practice some self love and see how fan-freaking-tastic it feels to really nurture yourself.

5 Ways To Start Loving Yourself 1. Choose Integrity Personal integrity is incredibly empowering. It comes from living your life aligned with your goals and values. When your actions are in sync with your highest priorities, you feel a great amount of self respect. Hint, hint, self respect is critical for self love ;) Take a few minutes to list out your top 5 values in life. Next, take a look at your calendar.


Is your time being spent on your major life values? If not, make a real commitment to add these top values to your schedule. As you well know, your time is a limited asset. Don't let your precious time get lost on the "busy" stuff. Ensure your major life priorities show up on your calendar so you're prioritizing your schedule by what's most important to you. Need help? Reach out to me and we'll create your intentional life plan together.

2. Nurture Yourself

This is a personal favorite of mine. Do you spoil yourself? If not, it's time to start. To begin, make a list of activities that are really nurturing for you. Add a variety of things from the standard bubble bath, massage, and pedicure to the more unique like an art class or yoga practice. Think about anything that brings you joy and add it to the list until you have a really long list of your favorite nurturing activities. Make sure to do at least one small thing from your list every day and one bigger thing each week. Taking care of yourself in this way will decrease stress, increase joy and help you to truly learn how love yourself more fully. Yay and hurray!

3. Surround Yourself With Supporters Are your friends your greatest advocates? If you notice your friends are more vent partners and less growth advocates, it's time to enroll some new inspiring peeps into your tribe. Try joining a group, mastermind or social media community of supportive individuals. Be encouraging and uplifting to the people in your life. Start sending some friendly text messages of support, congratulations and encouragement to your tribe. You often attract people who have habits similar to your own, so make it a habit to advocate for others. It feels good and it attracts great friends too. Winning! If you already have supporters around you, see if you can generate even more positive camaraderie. Begin enrolling these existing friends as advocates in a new more conscious way. Ask if they're open to act as your positivity pose and growth partners. Having this intentional mindset will create new heights of support. Cheer each other on and encourage one another in new up-lifting ways.

4. Practice Receiving More Love Have you ever stopped someone from giving you a compliment by deflecting or minimizing yourself? This is incredibly common and a huge red flag that you need to increase your ability to receive love. Often, we unconsciously block whatever it is that we most want. We all crave appreciation but sometimes we deflect or hinder that praise we truly desire. Huh??? Yes, it's all too common. You are likely the very person keeping yourself from what you truly want. Break this bad habit starting today! An easy place to start is by practicing a simple, "Thank you!" every time someone gives you a compliment. If you've been in the habit of deflecting praise, it'll feel a little awkward at first to respond this way. However, it's a good first step in allowing more good to flow into your life. Affirm their praise silently to yourself. Recognize that you are the very thing they're complimenting you for. Otherwise, they wouldn't have recognized it in the first place. Celebrate yourself! You're epic!


5. Talk to Yourself Lovingly Have you ever noticed the way you talk to yourself? We all have endless internal chatter that flows with our stream of thoughts.


Unfortunately, most of our self talk is negative.

The most critical thing you can do to love yourself is to develop an internal voice that is positive, encouraging and nurturing. You know that voice that says, "I've got this"? That's the voice of your internal champion. It's the voice of your higher self. Tune into that voice and the wisdom within. Encourage yourself when you hear that positive self talk! Develop empowering mantra statements you use over and over again. Define yourself with your strengths. When you have a clear vision of your own amazing attributes, you'll know you are truly loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved.


#selfacceptance #selflove #selftalk

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